Who Are You Not to Be?

There is a quote I return to often from Marianne Williamson: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure... Who are you not to be?"

I have shared this quote with more than one person who was waiting for permission to do what they already knew they could do. I did not hand them talent. I did not hand them readiness. I simply reflected what was already there. That is mentorship.

Mentorship is belief plus accountability over time. It is not hype. It is not ownership.

Let's Clear This Up

Mentorship, advising, and coaching get used like they are interchangeable. They are not.

• Mentorship: a continued relationship built on trust, values alignment, and honest conversation in both directions.
• Advising: perspective, input, and feedback without the same ongoing personal investment.
• Coaching: a structured paid service with clear outcomes and a defined methodology.

None of these is "better" than the others. But confusion creates friction. People ask mentors for coaching-level output. People pay for coaching when what they really need is aligned guidance and a person who believes in their growth.

Coaching Is a Service

Coaching can be powerful. It was for me early in my career. I had a specific target, and coaching gave me structure and momentum toward it.

But it is still a service. If someone is charging for support, that is coaching. Be clear about what you are buying and what outcomes you expect.

Know Yourself First

Before you choose mentors, do internal work. Know your values first. If you cannot articulate what matters to you, you cannot accurately evaluate who is aligned with you.

When I built my mentorship network, I did not optimize for titles or audience size. I looked for people who model success in how they treat people, not just how they perform online.

Values always leak through behavior. Ask better questions and watch how people show up.

Some mentorship relationships last years. Some are only right for a season. That is healthy. You do not owe permanence to a relationship that is no longer aligned, and neither do they.

Watch the LinkedIn Noise

Admire people. Learn from people. But do not idolize people. Idol worship disguised as professional admiration is not mentorship.

Real mentorship is grounded in shared values and mutual respect, not brand proximity.

The 1, 5, 10 Rule

A framework I first heard from Zsolt Olah and still return to:

• 1 year ahead: they remember exactly where you are.
• 5 years ahead: they have navigated the messy middle.
• 10 years ahead: they carry the long view and know what matters.

These relationships do not need to be formal. They do need to be intentional.

Build Your Advisory Board

Beyond mentors, build an advisory board across different areas of life and work. People who will challenge your thinking, test your assumptions, and tell you the truth when your direction is unclear.

Trust like that does not happen accidentally. It is built through consistency and showing up for each other over time.

Two Things to Do Today

• Become a mentor.You do not need a perfect story. You need willingness to invest in someone else's growth.
• Ask someone to mentor you. People are busy. Ask anyway. Most people who were poured into are looking for someone to pour into next.

You do not need to shrink. You do not need to wait. Who are you not to be?